In the past, I have written about how to be the best groom and best bride ever, now it is the wedding party’s turn. Ready?
have a sense of humor. Did the photographer just ask the bridesmaids to all look adoringly at the groom and didn’t realize you’re the groom’s sister? Rather than getting huffy and feeling awkward, turn your back to the rest of the girls, cross your arms and fake pout. Make it fun. Don’t draw attention to yourself by being uncomfortable, instead make the most of the moment and have a good time. I can’t tell you how badly photographers just want pictures of groups laughing and having a good time. Yet, wedding party images can be uncomfortable if the members don’t know each other. So crack a joke, and make things more comfortable for everyone.
don’t sweat the small stuff…and it is all small stuff. One of the jobs I have on the wedding day is to keep the bride calm and the atmosphere easy going. She will be stressed if you’re stressed. If you HATE your salon hairstyle, don’t tell the whole room, just quietly ask another bridesmaid to come help you quick while you change your hairstyle. If the bride wants all the groomsmen in pink vests and you HATE pink, just wear it. Rock the challenge of making pink look good. Looking on the bright side all day will encourage others to do the same. One grouchy wedding party member can bring the whole group down. And if something really bad happen (and it sometimes does) keep your cool. It does not help any stressful situation if a member of the wedding party freaks out when lipstick gets on the wedding gown.
be super respectful of time. If you have to be in the lobby at 1pm for pictures, be there, ready to go at 12:45. Weddings involve a lot of “hurry up and wait” scenarios, but the people that are late really hurt the timeline and moral of the group. If a wedding planner has to spend half their time rounding up groomsmen because a group picture needs to be taken, she isn’t able to do her main job. If a photographer is trying to stay on a schedule but yet ANOTHER bridesmaid needs to run to the bathroom, it just adds stress. Budget the wedding day time with a lot of cushion. Remember, you aren’t just getting yourself ready, but are supposed to help the bride and groom get ready. Everyone rushing at the last minute doesn’t make the day very fun. Also, keep a snack in your purse or pocket, brides and grooms often forget that 3 hours of pictures over lunch time can be frustrating for a wedding party, so stay fed and hydrated so you can feel your best!
stay on the dance floor. This one is a pet peeve of mine. Right after the first dances, the DJ plays “We Are Family” (why they choose this song, I don’t know) and the dancefloor stays empty. The poor bride stands there, trying to get people to dance, to have the party she really wants, and the groomsemen are all at the bar, the bridesmaids are sitting down with their boyfriends not wanting to be the first on the dance floor and it gets awkward. So instead of this happening, jump up and pull some others on the dancefloor with you. Once the guests see others on the floor, they’ll get up too and viola! a party! (and maybe tell the DJ which songs to play that you KNOW will get people dancing!) I’m not saying you have to be dancing the whole night at all…but help your bride out! She wants to dance, she wants a party, so keep an eye on the dance floor and if the floor starts clearing out, grab the bride’s hand and dance! Really want to score some brownie points? If you’re the dashing groomsman that asks all the brides younger cousins to dance, you will be the hit of the party and win the heart of that single bridesmaid you’ve been flirting with…see? this can help you as much as it helps the bride and groom ; )
be generous. Besides being generous with your time, be generous to the couple financially. You certainly don’t have to buy a shower gift for every shower you’re invited to, but if the party is bar hopping on the wedding day, the bride and groom should never pay for their own drinks and tips to overwhelmed servers is very welcomed. Treat the other groomsmen to a cigar during the reception, or a nice pour of whiskey. The wedding party’s job is to make sure the bride and groom are having a good time and no worries. And money does become involved quite a bit in these situations. If money is super tight, then be honest. Tell the bride the moment she asks you to be in the wedding party that you can’t afford it. She should understand. If you still want to be in the wedding party but can’t really afford it, don’t spend the whole time complaining about how much you have to spend, having to spend money kind of comes with the territory.
be helpful. This one is tough, because I’m already telling you to be generous with your money and time, and now you have to be helpful, too? Well, yeah. Though I’m not a fan of the family having to clean up the reception at the end of the night (it is WORTH paying someone else to do it, I promise!), many helpers make the work go much faster. So lend a hand. Whether it is folding 200 programs the week before the wedding, arriving to the rehearsal dinner early to set up, loading the cooler into the party bus, driving gifts to the couple’s house at the end of the night, or taking down the centerpieces at the reception, help out!
Does this sound like a selfless job? Well, the day isn’t about you, right? It is about supporting the couple and helping this party be something they’ll cherish forever. Now, on the other side of this, the bride and groom should also be just as generous and gracious. And if they aren’t, then that is a whole different topic =) As with any wedding advice, preplanning, organizing and giving yourself enough time and an appropriate budget is essential to any event going smoothly for all involved. Be sure to consult a professional before embarking on planning your wedding!