Weddings have many different styles, looks, and customs. Through all of the planning process, a couple has to navigate a sea of issues they probably have never dealt with before. Besides the decisions of colors, budgets, themes, and time of year, the guest list usually requires quite a bit of back and forth and compromise. Not only between the couple, but also both sets of parents. Though most couples don’t anticipate it, the guest list can be the decision that is the most frustrating.
One question that seems to pop up time and time again is “do we invite children to our wedding?” I believe the answer comes down to etiquette on both sides of the issue.
It is rude to issue an invitation and then say the couple can’t bring their children. The guests are not only taking time out of their day and bringing you a nice present, they are probably also giving you money at the dollar dance and paying for drinks all night…and now they have to pay for a babysitter on top of all that? On the flip side of this argument, it is rude for a parent to let a screaming kid interrupt your vows or stand on the dance floor during the first dance. We even had the lovely experience of hearing a toddler vomit onto a wooden pew during the sermon once 😉 Kids can add to a wedding day but also take away from the day.
So, a solution?
As a parent myself, I love dancing with my kids at a wedding, but I also want to have fun with people my own age and not worry about my kid trying to sneak a taste of the wedding cake. So what I personally would do is bring my children to the wedding and reception, but then have a babysitter or family member pick the kids up after about an hour of dancing and take them home, leaving the rest of the night to the adults.
As a bride, it isn’t very tactful to suggest babysitting techniques to your guests, so have a solution ready. If you sense that a plethora of children will drive you crazy on your wedding day, then hire a babysitter for them. Many wedding venues have side rooms, or even a hotel room, you can rent out for the night. Ask a few of your teenaged cousins or hire a college aged babysitter (if you don’t know anyone, you can find one through a nanny service) to watch the kids that evening once it starts to get late. Have snacks like popcorn, simple activities and a movie, and the parents can pick up their children when it is time to go home. Make sure parents know this option is available so they can bring pjs if they would like. We had a wedding couple do this a few years ago and it worked really well, and the parents were extremely grateful. It costs at most a couple hundred dollars and I feel it truly is the best of both worlds.
Children from the immediate family, yes.
I think a picture of the guests children works much better.
After all, in all honestly we really only think our own children/grandchildren are the cutest……and do the cutest things.
Love your website and blog, I may have to hire you to teach!